3 MONTHS AGO • 5 MIN READ

Struggling to slow down and rest? Let's unpack that.

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Slow, Savour, Serve

Join the movement to transform today's work culture by embracing the art of slowing down and savouring life's moments. Sustain your impactful and wholehearted service as a purpose-driven professional. This newsletter guides you in building and maintaining a supportive ecosystem while you continue to support others. Experience care stewardship by directing attention to your own well-being. Receive weekly body-wise practices to attune to your body's wisdom, contemplative insights to open your heart and mind, and reflection prompts to connect with your authentic self. Occasionally, you'll also hear about offers and services that may benefit you.

Hey Reader,

Last week I shared about how it was a pretty slow, sluggish week for me as I was dealing with some deep-seated emotions that needed quite a bit of space to process.

I was pretty confident then that I would be able to pick up the pace of my work this week once I had given myself the space and time needed to feel into my emotions and release what needed to be released.

But guess what?

Just as I was starting to feel emotionally better, my physical health plummeted and I ended up having to nurse a cold this week.

It was hard to slow down this week though. I had appointments booked and clients to meet, and I did not want to cancel on any of them so I did what I could, to keep going.

Thankfully, my days were not packed with back to back appointments and I still had plenty of time to rest between meetings.

I also gave myself the grace of not completing all my tasks that were not urgent, and not doing certain household chores, just so I could rest.

But I was not always this kind to myself. The memories of times when I felt overcome with both guilt and overwhelming anxiety when I tried to rest are still vivid in my mind.

This made me realise how it is super easy to advice someone else to slow down, take a break or just rest, and yet it can feel so difficult to actually follow through with that advice myself (and for very real and valid reasons that goes beyond having a busy schedule!).

If you’re someone who is currently struggling to slow down or feel guilty or anxious whenever you are resting, then this is for you - join me in unpacking the deeper reasons for this challenge you’re facing.

With your well-being at heart,

Elia Kanak Rajah [she/her]

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Why we struggle to slow down and rest?

If you’ve ever tried to take a break, only to be overwhelmed by guilt or anxiety, you might have felt like there’s an invisible force pushing you to keep going, even though there is another part of you screaming at you to stop and rest.

You’re not alone.

This constant drive to keep going at all costs even when you do want to pause for some air is what I believe has created an epidemic of burnout in our world today, especially in urbanised landscapes.

Let’s explore three main reasons why this happens and how we can begin to address them.

1. Personal Lived Experiences and Beliefs

Many of us carry deep-seated beliefs about productivity and our self-worth. From an early age, we may have been conditioned to think our worth is tied to how much we do, and in the case of helping professionals, it is often tied to how much we do for others. When we grow up believing that our value lies in our contributions, this deeply ingrained belief will make it challenging to slow down as an adult, without feeling like we’re somehow failing.

Can you relate?

2. Intergenerational Burdens and Traumas

It’s not just about our own experiences. We also carry intergenerational burdens and traumas. Think about your parents, grandparents, or even great-grandparents. Many of them lived through times when working hard was essential for their survival. If hard work was deemed necessary not just for one’s success but most importantly, one’s survival, this generational legacy can and often do get passed down to us, shaping our behaviours and attitudes towards rest and productivity.

Have you ever felt like you’re carrying the weight of generations before you? That’s because, in many ways, you are.

3. Ongoing Cultural and Environmental Influences

Then there are the ongoing cultural and environmental influences. We live in a world that celebrates busyness, and constantly reinforces the idea that you’re only as worthy as how much you produce or contribute. Social media, workplace cultures, even casual conversations often glorify being always on and focus more on achievements than our well-being. We tend to wear busyness as a badge of honour within many workplaces.

This constant pressure to be doing can make rest feel almost impossible. The message is clear: you are only as worthy as what or how much you produce (or in your case, how much you contribute). No wonder trying to slow down triggers our anxiety!

Awareness is the first step. Recognising these influences allows us to start questioning them.

Ask yourself: Is my worth really tied to my productivity?

Imagine breaking free from these chains and embracing a life where rest is not just allowed but celebrated.

Can you picture yourself feeling worthy simply for being you, not for what you do?

You’re invited to reflect on these points and consider how they show up in your life.

If you’d like to learn more about the toxicity around this drive to produce, and how we can begin to embrace rest as our birthright, I would highly recommend one of my favourite books by Tricia Hersey, Founder of the Nap Ministry called ‘Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto’.

“The Rest Is Resistance framework also does not believe in the toxic idea that we are resting to recharge and rejuvenate so we can be prepared to give more output to capitalism. What we have internalized as productivity has been informed by a capitalist, ableist, patriarchal system. Our drive and obsession to always be in a state of “productivity” leads us to the path of exhaustion, guilt, and shame. We falsely believe we are not doing enough and that we must always be guiding our lives toward more labor. The distinction that must be repeated as many times as necessary is this:
We are not resting to be productive. We are resting simply because it is our divine right to do so.

― Tricia Hersey

Attune to your Body

Explore setting a timer for 3 minutes to pause and do nothing. Allow yourself to rest with no other purpose.

In this short span of rest, notice the thoughts, feelings or physical sensations that appear in your bodymind - welcoming them all in if possible.

If you notice unpleasant thoughts, feelings or sensations, see if you could stay with the discomfort just a little longer, noting where in or around your body the discomfort arises.

If you’re interested, you may choose to get curious about what the discomfort in your body is signalling to you - do they have a message they want you to hear?

Contemplate with Soul

Invite in gentle curiousity as you sit with the following questions and journal/ draw/ creatively express/ move your body and allow the answers to emerge from within.

  1. On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 being not at all comfortable to 10 being super comfortable), how comfortable do you feel with resting, pausing or taking breaks during your day?
  2. What explicit or implicit messages did you receive about rest and productivity when you were growing up, or from the people and/or culture around you today?
  3. *What are you afraid would happen if you were to truly give yourself permission to rest and do nothing (even if that means some of your tasks or responsibilities goes unfulfilled)?
  4. *How much of these fears are your own, and how much of it belongs to past generations or the cultures you’re part of? (You may wish to draw a circle, and create a pie chart of what percentage of the fears you hold feel like they belong to you vs. those that were inherited.)

*Note: Your answers to these questions can reveal important clues for the personal, intergenerational or cultural burdens you are carrying within you, and help clarify what you may need to heal.

Need a little more help in unpacking your struggles with slowing down or support in unburdening your personal, legacy and cultural burdens surrounding productivity and rest?

Feel free to reach out to me for a non-obligatory connection call to share what is weighing you down, and learn how we can work together to help you release those burdens, or hit reply to share your thoughts and reflections!


Interested in a deeper connection?

Let's meet over coffee (online)!

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Slow, Savour, Serve

Join the movement to transform today's work culture by embracing the art of slowing down and savouring life's moments. Sustain your impactful and wholehearted service as a purpose-driven professional. This newsletter guides you in building and maintaining a supportive ecosystem while you continue to support others. Experience care stewardship by directing attention to your own well-being. Receive weekly body-wise practices to attune to your body's wisdom, contemplative insights to open your heart and mind, and reflection prompts to connect with your authentic self. Occasionally, you'll also hear about offers and services that may benefit you.